Like, Follow, Subscribe: The Digital Narratives Reshaping Young Men’s Ideas About Relationships
Young men today are navigating relationship expectations in an unprecedented digital landscape. Unlike previous generations who learned about partnerships through family, friends, and direct experience, today's young men increasingly turn to podcasts, social media influencers and online communities for guidance on dating, masculinity, and gender roles. This shift represents more than just a change in information sources - it has the potential to fundamentally reshape how an entire generation approaches relationships, intimacy and partnership dynamics.
The Digital Education Gap
Our soon-to-be-published research at Movember reveals the extent of this digital influence: 22% of young Australian men aged 12-17 trust dating advice from influencers, in comparison 26% rely on subject matter experts as their most trusted source. Perhaps more striking is their media consumption: 50% listen to podcasts weekly, averaging 26 minutes daily, while spending even more time - 62 minutes daily - consuming short-form video content.
After interviewing 78 young men across the UK, Canada, and Australia, our research confirms that podcasts and masculinity influencers fill specific gaps in traditional relationship education by providing:
Anonymous advice-seeking: Comment sections allow young men to crowdsource perspectives without social stigma
Male mentorship: Hosts serve as father or older brother figures many young men lack
'Fly on the Wall' access: Female guests offer insights into women's perspectives that feel authentic and unfiltered
The Algorithm's Mixed Messages
These digital ecosystems are full of contradictions that create confusion for young men who are in a developmental stage of identity and attitude formation. On one side of the algorithm, young men encounter content encouraging honesty, emotional openness, and relationship equality. On the other, they're exposed to warnings about betrayal and urged that they must uphold 'protector and provider' roles as markers of masculine success.
A young man might watch one video encouraging him to share his feelings openly, then immediately see another claiming that emotional expression makes men weak and unattractive. This algorithmic whiplash reflects broader cultural tensions between evolving, progressive relationship dynamics built on equality and traditional gender expectations and upholding stereotypical masculine traits of stoicism, self-reliance and control over one’s thoughts and emotions.
For many young men, masculine identity, confidence, and relationship values are often highly malleable and tied to aspirations for dating success. The potential conflicting messages they receive can create confusion about what healthy relationships actually look like.
The Data Reveals a Troubling Trend
The real-world impact of this digital influence becomes clear when we examine the data. Our research found that 67% of young men who consume social media masculinity influencer content believe women should fulfill traditional roles as wives and mothers - compared to just 43% of non-viewers.
This aligns with broader patterns identified in recent insights from the e61 Institute, reporting data from the Household, Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia (HILDA) survey. While beliefs in traditional gender norms have declined across all generations since 2001, young men (Gen Z and Millennials) break with this trend. Their scores have been plateauing and becoming more traditional since 2018 - a shift that persists even when accounting for education, employment, and location.
This contrasts sharply with young women of the same generations, who continue to endorse less traditional gender beliefs, highlighting a growing ideological divide between young men and women on gender roles.
The Potential for Real-World Consequences
This tension is nuanced and complex, but the possible real-world costs of getting it wrong are significant. The repercussions of rigid narratives perpetuated in the digital world don't just impact young men but extend to their intimate partners and broader relationship dynamics.
While traditional relationship dynamics - like men being primary providers and women being primary caregivers - aren't inherently problematic, issues arise when these roles become rigid expectations rather than mutually agreed arrangements. The potential consequences can affect both partners:
For women: Potential loss of financial independence, vulnerability to coercive control and financial abuse, and pressure to maintain unrealistic emotional equilibrium at home.
For men: Overwhelming financial pressure in a challenging economy, tying self-worth to provider status, and the emotional strain of feeling solely responsible for meeting a partner’s or family’s financial needs - all of which impact men's health and wellbeing.
The Search for Credible Guidance
The challenge lies in helping young men find credible, yet relatable, relationship content online. While relationships experts and parents might offer trustworthy guidance, they may miss nuances of contemporary dating. Meanwhile, social media influencers provide relatability they can lack the skills or expertise in promoting narratives that align with healthy relationship advice.
Young men tell us they want credible dating and relationship information but struggle to find sources that combine this credibility and relatability. This unmet need represents a manifestation of the competing messages shaping how a digitally connected generation might view relationships.
Our interviews with young men across the UK, Canada, and Australia reveal exactly what they're seeking: relationship guidance that normalizes their concerns, provides them with clear guidance, teaches them how real-life relationships actually work, , and reflects their personal aspirations and values.
Building Better Solutions
This creates a clear roadmap for intervention:
Develop accessible, credible content that matches online influencers' relatability while being evidence-based and promoting healthy relationship dynamics
Create mentorship programs that connect young men with trained relationship educators who understand contemporary dating and can provide non-judgmental advice
Build educational resources that teach flexible, communicative and skills-based approaches to partnership, rather than rigid gender roles that serve to restrict, rather than facilitate the needs of young men and their partners
Design support systems that offer guidance to young men through dating experiences, including relationship challenges (i.e., rejection and breakups), and major life transitions
A healthy relationship is formed when partners are equal and active in shaping how it functions and evolves. While podcasts create opportunities for important conversations, they also risk becoming biased and one-sided. When this happens, we lose sight of a fundamental truth: relationships should be co-created.
As these online conversations continue to shape young men’s perspectives and attitudes, we have both an opportunity and an obligation. The stakes extend beyond social media engagement metrics. The quality of the relationship guidance we provide today via social media may impact how a generation approaches intimacy, partnership, and gender dynamics.
Dr Krista Fisher, Dr Zac Seidler & Tom Ellis
*To explore these themes further, listen to the KICPOD miniseries Am I Equal? where Dr Zac Seidler and KIC Co-Founder and CEO Laura Henshaw discuss how digital narratives are shaping young men’s relationships - listen here.
This article was created using research from Movember and examines the impact of online influencers on young men's relationship perspectives. It also includes analysis from the e61 Institute reporting data from the HILDA Survey.
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